January 2, 2002
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I guess now is a good time to evaluate the last year and set some goals for myself. Last year I lost weight, but only the tip of the iceberg. So I suppose I need to vow to lose a significant amount of weight this year. I have been walking for about a year now. For the first few months I walked every day. Gradually it decreased and now I walk three to four days a week. As cold as it is, I don’t see myself adding extra days soon. I really do want to be healthy and fit. I want to spend more time reading the Bible. In fact, Carole and I talked about doing a study in John. I think now is a good time to start. Since Chris and I are doing the Mark tapes, I’ll have some extra help and insight. I need to look for some sort of study guide at the store. I will spend more time praying, too. My friends and family need me now more than ever to lift them up to the only One Who can help them. I need to make an appointment for Chris and I to get the blood test for Alpha One. I would be terribly remiss to put that off for very long. I hereby set myself a goal to at least make the appointment before the end of the month. Sound lax? I hate to put any pressure on myself. I tend to stress out easily. Josh’s New Year’s resolution was to make a budget because he feels he and his wife are going through way too much money. I am joining him in that one. I need to cut way down on my spending habits to prepare for Chris turning eighteen and the death of the child support check. This is perfect timing with the Bible study. Carole and I can get together now without spending money (sometimes anyway). I would like to be purer this year. Purer in thought and deed, intentions and motivations. Slower to anger, patient and kind.... It makes me laugh to read this even as I type it. I am so very far from any of these things. However, I AM getting better at blowing off Mom’s grouchiness and pretending like it never happened. She doesn’t remember it happened, why should I? I would want someone to be merciful to me, therefore I will learn to show mercy. I would like to learn to love more this year. I am amazed at how self-centered I am. I am going to invite my sister to go out with Carole and I on Fridays (at least whenever we go) and pay her way to show my gratitude for her help with bathing Mom. I’ll also try to take her to Staunton with me so she can visit her daughter from time to time. I’ll extend the hand of love and if my fingers get bitten, that will be okay. I should make vows of cleaning more and stuff like that, but I think I’ll save those for another time. I don’t think I’ll ever actually be a GOOD housekeeper. However, if I ever get a new place of my own, I plan to buy very little. There is great beauty in simplicity and great ease in cleaning if the room is mostly empty! No clutter if there is room to put things away..... So, someone please remind me that I don’t want any STUFF if I ever move. Then maybe I’ll have a clean house!
I guess that’s it. This list doesn’t seem unobtainable. IF I discipline myself and stop being so lazy! I try not to set lofty goals that I have no chance of reaching. The hardest thing on the list may be growing closer to the Lord. I love Him so much and He has blessed my family more abundantly than I could ever express, yet I am prone to wander. My pastor would probably be upset with me if he saw my list because he has taught us til he is blue in the face that you can’t produce godliness through your own determination. The end of that is always failure. I guess I’ll cry out to the Lord to hold me close and trust Him to do so. Matthew 5:7-8 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. . |
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