November 20, 2002
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Last week I left a rather desperate sounding message for Mom’s doctor on his machine. My tone must have alarmed him because he had his nurse call me back with orders for a different antipsychotic (Trilafon) and instructions for weaning Mom off Seroquel. I made it to the beach for the weekend. What wonderful relaxation and comfort time spent with friends. I looked at some facilities and I have a place in mind should I ever make it back over there to live. Interestingly, the one I like best was one where my kids sang at Christmas time with the homeschool choir. As things stand now, I won’t be moving back. Situations can change, though, so I am glad to have a backup plan. My refreshed feelings quickly waned upon my return. Mom didn’t do well at all while I was gone. This is no surprise since her Seroquel dosage was cut in half. . Anyway, she got no shower all weekend, per usual. The next day was just poopy. Mom lifted a cushion on the couch and had a BM under it and then smashed the cushion back on top of it. She took off her pull-ups and tossed them, so she had poop all over the back of her and on her skirt. She fought me the whole time I cleaned her up. She also sat down in the desk chair while I was trying to clean her and got poop on that. As if that weren’t bad enough, about two hours later she had a BM in her pull-ups. Somehow she had poop on the front of her shirt and all over herself again. Once more she fought me when I tried to clean her. It was terrible. My feelings of inadequacy returned and I went to bed feeling like I couldn’t possibly go on. ------------------------------------------------------------- Today was day 3 on the Trilafon (along with a small amount of Seroquel). Mom let me change her this morning with barely a protest. She is waking up wet every morning now, but this was happening before the med change. When I picked her up from daycare I was told she had been very cooperative all day. We stopped at the store and she was patient while we stood in line. She was fine all evening, in fact. I realize this could be a fluke, but I can’t deny this tiny flicker of hope I feel inside me. 2 Peter 3:13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness.
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