December 18, 2004

I put in the last quarter and squeezed the trigger on the hose at the car wash and nothing happened. Grrr. The machine ate my money and of course no one actually works there, so I was out of luck. I looked at the dirt and paw prints on my car and knew I had to wash it. I had absolutely NO desire to give the car wash place any more of my money, so I dropped into AutoZone and bought some car wash solution and went to Mom’s house to wash the car. Even though it was quite a nice day for December, I about froze my hands off in that icy water!

As I cleaned my car, my gaze fell to Mr. Taylor’s house. Hmmm. I couldn’t even remember the last time I visited him. I had a box of candy in the car I had purchased for gift giving and decided to see if Mr. Taylor liked candy. I kept looking over at his house for signs of life as I washed the car. The thought crossed my mind that he had possibly passed away without me knowing (he IS in his 90‘s, after all). I am not a very diligent friend.

After finishing up with my car, I drove over and parked in front of his house and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” he said without getting up.

Now that’s not like Mr. Taylor at all. I know he’s not feeling the greatest.

I went in and we started talking and I quickly found out that his sister-in-law had just passed away that very morning and he was waiting for his nephew to come back over. I was able to sit with him a while and talk. He probably isn’t going to live that much longer himself.

I’m glad the car wash ate my money and ended up spurring me to see Mr. Taylor. I could well have forgotten him completely during the holidays. On a sad note, I noticed he kept asking the same questions and didn’t seem like his mind was working correctly. He lives alone and this is definitely not a good thing.

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I am very pleased with all I have accomplished concerning my holiday ‘duties’. I have done just about all I wanted to do. I only have to give my next door neighbor her little gift.

My brother emailed me and said he forgot about his daughter’s gift. Since she was with him, he would have only had to mention it to her. I highly suspect him of ‘forgetting’ on purpose, but I can’t know for sure. Since I was jumping through hoops to get it there on time, I am not pleased. Of course, it’s entirely possible that he very innocently forgot. However, I was definitely excluded from the get together, so I feel like all these things are done purposely with the intent of hurting me. And it does.

Now I have to email my sister and let her know her daughter’s presents are there. I think she will pick them up. One can only hope.

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I have no idea what is going on at Facility lately. A few months ago our Activities Director quit. I may have mentioned it here. She was the life of the place and brought lots of joy to the residents. Losing her was quite a blow to all concerned. Now the RN (we only have one) has left and the Administrative Assistant has followed her out. The RN has been there since the place opened. A few aides have quit, as well, but they always seem to be coming and going. Unfortunately the last one to leave was from Mom’s ‘house’. I don’t know why everyone is leaving and I’m sure no one is about to pass on that bit of knowledge to me.

Also, a friend moved her mother out of Facility. She has lived there ever since it opened. My friend told me that when Facility first opened it was just the best place in the world. She has watched it go down slowly and for her, I think the rising prices along with the activity director leaving were the straws that broke the camel’s back.

While all this has been happening, a new nursing home opened nearby. I just found out a couple of days ago that it has an Alzheimer’s section. I’m going to go check it out. I hesitate to move Mom, because a new place is very hard on an Alzheimer’s patient. I would have to think long and hard to take the giant step of moving her, but I feel it’s time to put some feelers out. This place is right on the way to work, so I could stop by more often and more easily. I’m definitely keeping an open mind.

The two main dayshift aides in Mom’s ’house’ are really good. One of them commented today on how touching it was the see Chris cleaning off Mom’s hands to help get her ready to go. The love between them was obvious, as Mom grinned up at Chris. I truly appreciate them and know they take good care of Mom. I would hate to offend them or make them feel as if I found them lacking.

May the Lord lead me in a plain path.

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The new incentive plan has been really upsetting me at work again and I find myself giving that back to the Lord over and over. There is a review being done on it in January and I surely hope some serious changes will be made. I would rather have no incentive plan than to keep it like it is. I wish I knew how to let things go and to just decide not to let something bother me. I wear my feelings on my shirt sleeve and I have trouble controlling my emotions. This is certainly not a good witness for the Lord.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.