Descent into Alzheimer's Disease

I was able to leave work 3 hours early on both Monday and Tuesday nights to go sit with Mom at the hospital. The doctor called at 7 A.M. Wednesday morning to let me know he was releasing her and I went to go get her to take her back to Facility.

While I was spending time with Mom on Monday and Tuesday nights, I was able to peacefully reflect on the past few days. It has been a good long while since I was so totally focused on Mom. In the hospital, she was so sweet. Her helplessness and vulnerability just screamed out at me. She was so happy when I was there and I knew she didn’t want me to leave.

One of the most incredible things was the fact that she was the perfect patient! Someone with Alzheimer’s being in the hospital is usually a nightmare. They won’t cooperate with anything because they can’t. They pull on the IV and catheters and constantly try to leave the room. They are agitated by the strange surroundings and it’s very difficult to keep them calm and under control.

Mom did none of this. Granted the first two days she never opened her eyes. But after that…. after that when she felt better and was eating and talking and laughing… even then she never caused a bit of trouble.

She didn’t tug on the IV. She didn’t pull at the catheter. She never once even tried to get out of bed or to get up from her chair (if we had her in one). She ate every bite of her meals and dutifully drank all her fluids. She has never been so sweet. It is nothing short of amazing!

Anyway, while I was glorying in all our togetherness, I became acutely aware of her humanness and her need for my love and kindness. I began to realize that somewhere along the line she had become just another thing I had ‘to do’.

In the flurry of life, in my hurried little world, I had let this horrible thing happen. At some point Mom became a chore on my list.

Day in and day out, making sure to go visit at least 4 times a week. Squeezing her in before work. Dashing through Facility, putting shoes on her, brushing her teeth, giving her a snack; then dashing off to get home in time to do my little work out before leaving 5 minutes later than I wanted to for work.

Spending all those hours with her in the hospital with her being so adorable made me realize that on many days I wasn’t really seeing my wonderful mother. I wasn’t relishing our moments together. Instead I was marking off a chore from my list.

And no matter how she seems to me, she IS a vulnerable, helpless woman who needs me to love her. And I do. I really do, but I need to pay attention. I need to keep a grateful heart, remembering what a tremendous blessing she is in my life.

She’s not a chore. She’s not something I HAVE to do. Every moment we have together is a gift from God. I need to make sure I remember that always. I would love to figure out a way for us to be together more. I wish she lived next door to me like she used to.

At any rate, I signed up for overtime to try to recover my lost wages, so this week I’ll only have one day off. I did manage to get lots of work done and I know the rest can wait.

Hebrews 13:15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.