Descent into Alzheimer's Disease

My sister and I sat staring at Mom’s swollen purple toe. I had just pulled off her socks, getting ready to bathe her.

“What in the world happened to her toe?” my sister wanted to know.

“I have no idea!” I replied defensively.

Whenever a bruise or other booboo shows up on Mom, I always feel guilty.

After pinning down the time frame and trying to figure it out, I decided that she either dropped a brick on it or something happened at daycare the previous day. She loves to spend time rearranging the flowers out front and she often carries away the bricks I have lining one flower bed. Since it was so swollen and purple, I made a doctor’s appointment to make sure it wasn’t broken and that the circulation was okay. To make a long story short, he said it was probably a spider bite! I have never seen such a reaction to a bite, but it is almost well now, so whatever.

Mom has been very active for the past few days, walking, pacing, and agitated. She normally will sleep a fair amount of time when she is home from daycare, but not lately! I’m the one passed out on the couch while she is full of energy. Tana’s barking broke through my sleep the other day. She was outside all alone, probably chasing some bicycler up the street. I jumped up and called her to come inside. Today I was napping on the couch after church while Mom paced. She kept waking me up. Once she started complaining to me, “She just sleeps on the couch!” she said to me (talking about me, though). She has had no change in meds, so I have no clue what has yanked her chain.

This afternoon I decided it would be nice to take a ride and get some ice cream. We went out the front door and I locked it and went and opened the car door for Mom. I went ahead and got in so I could get the AC blasting. Mom paced the front yard, periodically trying to get back into the house. I was calling for her the entire time to come to the car. She would just frown at me and go the other way. [ A professional told me this was called “motor aparaxia”, but I think it’s called stubbornness. *smile*] The temperature was in the high nineties so before long she decided she would get into the car after all. She did enjoy the ride and the ice cream.

People say not to force those with Alzheimer’s disease to do things against their will, but I have found it necessary with Mom. She normally refuses to get ready for church, but I go through the fight and she always loves church. Same as today with the ice cream. *I* know we are working toward something she enjoys, but she doesn’t. Since her reasoner is broken, I have to take control and decide what is best. Then there’s the bath, which would never happen without force. She is generally very happy after her bath, too.

There was a visiting pastor at the church we were visiting today. Lot’s of visiting going on. :-) He was a down home country boy. I must admit that even though it bothers me when most people speak incorrectly, I find a certain charm in the old country preachers. He made me laugh. He said he had a pig artery in his heart and every time he ate ham it squealed. He added that after his surgery his wife started calling him by yelling, “suey suuuu-eeeee”.

Part of his sermon was impossible for me to overlook (especially since I’m so mean). First he said that pride is a sin, it’s terrible to be puffed up, and that the Bible even says it’s a sin in 1 John 2:16 ( For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.). I agreed wholeheartedly because the Bible does indeed teach that pride is a sin. However, a little while later he encouraged us to be working hard for the Lord so “God could look down on us and be PROUD of us”. EEK. Why on earth would God exhibit sinful behavior? I wonder if this pastor doesn’t know that there is nothing about us which should make anyone proud. Anything right or good that we may do is because the Lord worked in us and enabled us. It is a gift from God.

I have been hearing lots of man-centered messages and am very weary. How I long for a Christ-centered church and Christ-centered messages. I need to start studying the Hebrews tapes taught by Pastor Parker soon.

I visited a different church last Sunday night and found out they are without a pastor at the moment. How could I join a church with no pastor? I did see Jewel there, a friend from my support group.

I may just stay where I am now for a while and see how it goes. I really do appreciate the pastor and the church.

I finally cooked a meal for Mr. Taylor and he wasn’t home. *sigh* I came right home from church and went to the stove to start preparing the chicken mirabella. Oh well, I’ll take it to him tomorrow. It can be reheated and should be enough for two or three meals anyway. I had the casserole dish in the fridge covered in foil and just found strawberry yogurt poured all over the top, but I don’t think she put any in the food.

Isaiah 64:6 ¶ But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.